In this section
"Yes once doesn't mean yes always."
Along with Southampton City Council's Summer of Love Campaign, we are working in collaboration with local authorities, Hampshire Police (safe4me), and other organisations such as No Limits, Change Grow Live, and Parent Support Link to promote drug and alcohol safety, safe/good sex, and signposting to local drug, alcohol, and sexual health support services.
For a full list of services please visit our directory of services.
What is consent?
Consent means that you have given permission, and that someone has given you permission to engage in any intimate activity for sex.
Any sexual contact without consent is illegal regardless of the age of the people involved. In the UK, the age of consent for sexual activity is 16.
It doesn’t matter what gender or sexuality you are, if you’re planning to do anything sexual then both of you must give consent.
Types of Consent
An example of consent would be an enthusiastic 'Yes' or words such as' Keep doing that', 'I love this', 'Don't stop'. Remember, yes once doesn't mean yes always. You must get consent every time you engage in any sexual activity.
Consent means saying yes, using words and your body language. You should stop immediately if you think the other person is uncomfortable or unhappy.
Words such as 'No', 'I don't want to do this', 'I'm drunk, please stop.' are not consensual. Body language such as avoiding eye contact and pushing you away are also not consensual. If there is any element of doubt that it is not consensual, stop. Remember, consent can be removed at anytime.
If you are asleep, unconscious (passed out) or so out of it that you can’t make a decision for yourself then you cannot consent. Whatever anyone does
to you while you are in this state is done without your permission and that makes it a crime.
If you think you or someone you know needs support with drug & alcohol abuse, or domestic abuse, please visit the Change Grow Live website
If you are under 26 and resident of Southampton, you can visit the No Limits website for support.
Why Consent is Important
It's important to know that consent is an essential part of healthy relationships and it’s really important to know what it is and the many ways to spot it.
Both you and the person you’re with always need to consent before sex or any intimate activity.
It's important to understand how consent works, what the law is and where you can get advice and support if you feel you have not consented.
The law states the legal age of consent to have sex is 16. Any sexual contact without consent is illegal, regardless of age, gender, or sexuality.
Although the age of consent in the UK is 16, it is illegal to take a photo or video of someone aged 18 or under engaging in sexual activity.
How to report sexting and inappropriate content online (Safe4Me)
- Portsmouth Recovery Hub
- Safer Portsmouth Partnership
- Change Grow Live
- Womens National 24 hour Domestic Violence Helpline
- Mens Advice Line
- The Treetops Centre
- Galop Support for LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse and violence
- Paragon (Isle of Wight)
It isn’t normal to be in an abusive relationship. Abuse is never okay and if it’s happening to you, you’re not to blame. Many people do not even realise that they are being abused.
Relationship abuse can include emotional abuse (controlling behaviour), physical abuse (violence) and sexual abuse.
If you are worried that you are being used for sex, being forced to have sex with others, that you feel alone and isolated, or that something in your relationship doesn’t feel right, there is lots of support available.
For support on Domestic Abuse & Violence, please visit our
If you decide to use chems (drugs) as part of the sex you are having we have provided some tips for playing as safely as possible.
If you are asleep, unconscious (passed out) or so out of it that you can’t make a decision for yourself then you cannot consent. Whatever anyone does to you while you are in this state is done without your permission and that makes it a crime. The sedative properties of some drugs – especially G – can leave a person incoherent or comatose and unable to give their sexual consent.
If you are worried, you can talk to a health care professional or a trusted adult in confidence.
#AskForAngela / #AskForAni
If you are in a pub or club and need to get out of the situation you are in, for example a date not going as planned, go to the bar and ask for Angela. The bar staff will know you need help, call you a taxi or get you out discreetly - without a fuss.
Resources for Teachers, Parents, Professionals